How to take Zimbio quizzes and maintain your dignity!

Zimbio and Buzzfeed quizzes are killing my Facebook newsfeed.

Killing. It.

JD0HF6V.jpgAdmittedly, it’s pretty damn convenient when a 20 second test on the internet can tell you how long you’re going to live. Oh, and what would life be if we had no way to accurately determine which Backstreet Boy we should marry?!? It’s truly enough to make anyone thankful for technological advances. We live in a glorious time! (Screw you, “Dark Ages”!)

Assuming we’re in a circle of truth, we can collectively confess that those quizzes are stupid. We all know this. However, we also know that at least once we’ve been suckered in, clicked the damn link and before you knew it, were finding out what adorable animal we were in a past life.

ADMIT IT!

In a moment of weakness just this morning, I succumb to one of those gawd-awful links to find out which Game of Thrones character I was. Every multiple choice selection I made got me one step closer to the answer and chipped just a tiny bit more away from my dignity. It was quite a pickle.

brownbear2

How could I indulge these idiotic quizzes while managing to keep my self-respect intact? I may be a DimWhit, but at that moment I was struck by genius.

Like an inconvenient fart, I’m putting this one on my dog!

It’s a simple fix, really. You merely open a quiz of your choice, pretend to be the family dog and answer the questions accordingly. You know them well enough to answer on their behalf. Plus, you get twice the giggles with zero of that nasty shame aftertaste. To assess my theory, I found my way to Zimbio and put DimDog to the test.

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Click on this pic if you’d like to join us!

First, I randomly selected one of the quizzes highlighted on the home page. I figured the “Finding Nemo” test would be ideal for my experiment since it’s kinda about animals. Also, I was confident I could guess which character DimDog would be (Dory) and was looking forward to being validated.

Here is how she answered and her results. Question 1:

q1

This was an obvious DimDog answer. She swims about as well as a giant rock with four plastic straws taped to the bottom. She’d want back to shore and she’d need help getting there.

q2

Also easy. She never tries to run off, but I do trip over her constantly because she is permanently attached to my ass. If I were to go adventuring, she would go too. Moving right along.

q3

Okay, so in actuality she’s feasting on kibble tonight. But her preference out of these four? Please, gimme something more difficult!

2q4

 

This was definitely the most challenging question in the quiz, but I used some deductive reasoning skills and am satisfied I got it right.

I won’t bore you with every lame, poorly written question, but suffice it to say, invoking my puppy’s persona was almost too easy. I felt confident that I represented DimDog well, although the result was a bit of a shocker. Can you guess what character she got? Here’s a little hint:

Sidenote: If you need a pro Photoshopper, I’m available for hire.

Sidenote: If you need a pro Photoshopper, I’m available for hire.

That’s right, folks. Courtesy the scientific findings of Zimbio, DimDog may now also be referred to as DarlaDog. I was a little surprised at the result, but once I read the description, I was reminded of the complete and total validity of these tests. Who am I to argue with science? I know my dog, and this quiz absolutely nailed her.

Screen Shot 2014-06-11 at 2.04.32 PM

No joke, I honestly couldn’t have described my dog better if I tried.

Because of this, I label my experiment a definite success and urge you to give it a try. You can quiz vicariously through your dog, cat, infant baby, grandmother…whoever’s thought patterns you have a real handle on. Now you can Buzzfeed with the best of them and feel smug while doing so. (Because after all, it’s not really you taking dumb internet tests, is it?)

If you decide to join along, shout it out with pride in the comment section below.

Quiz long and prosper, my friends!

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29 thoughts on “How to take Zimbio quizzes and maintain your dignity!

  1. Funny post, as usual! For some reason, the quizzes rarely draw me in. The only on that I’ve ever taken was to find out who I was on The Walking Dead. I LOVE that show so this was a must for me. Happily, the results were favorable. I got Hershel who is kind, loving and wonderful. Unfortunately, he was beheaded last season. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. How do you always, always get me giggling. I’m all busy at my desk (obviously not that busy…because look what I’m up to) but I see you have a new, post, I go check it out, read it, laughing at my desk. Darla! Are you kidding me! So funny! Um. I always take those stupid buzz things, like every time I see one pop up!! It’s insanity.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Bernadette from “Big Bang Theory” chiming in here. That was brilliant! Wish I’d thought of it. (You would think I should have given that I’m Bernadette and all. . . .) I’ll definitely be back to your blog again!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: DimWhit’s Friday Fold-Up: Now with 50% more fold-up! | the dimwhit

  5. Generally I avoid them, but I have to admit that recently I have taken 2 of these quizzes… Like you I took the GoT one, I have no problem being Jon Snow though as technically the vows say nothing about mothering children 🙂 I also took one that was about finding out what romantic movie your relationship was most like… I thought I would break it because Hubster and I have the kind of relationship they don’t write movies about (in a good way, but I mean – romance for us is the fact he always makes sure there is Sara Lee Rocky Road Ice Cream in the fridge for post super-mega-fun-happy-time). We got Notting Hill… a) I’m impressed that Zimbio knew of something more than 5 years old. b) I kind of want to watch this movie again as… c) the only thing I remember from this movie is orange juice on a white shirt, Rhys Ifans’ t-shirts and an awesome soundtrack… oh and oopsie daisy lol 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I avoid them too, but when every other entry on your FB newsfeed is a quiz result, it’s almost impossible to sidestep entirely. It’s like Chinese Water Torture and it will break you eventually!

      Notting Hill, huh? Red and I would probably get Planet of the Apes, which is why I won’t be taking THAT one.

      Hilarious comments darlin’. Please come back for a visit, won’t ya? 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I don’t know whether it’s just me or if everybody else encountering problems with your blog.
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    Like

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