You’re right fellas – women aren’t funny: Exhibit A

We all know women aren’t funny.

How many times do we have to tell you?

And if you didn’t know that, just ask your nearest dude. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

Lest I forget how unfunny us women-folk are, I was recently reminded of this simple fact a few weeks ago. The hubs and I had two of our dearest friends over, a married couple whom we love like family, to enjoy our deck, the sunshine and a few margaritas. Things were going swimmingly, as per usual, until the topic turned to comedians and our male friend very matter-of-factly stated:

Women just aren’t that funny.

And…he elaborated:

There’s not one female comic I would pay money to see. I mean, they just aren’t that good.

And there it was. The comment I have heard so many times before, lesser minds would think there were truth to it. But there isn’t, friends. Which is why, after I managed to hoist my chin from the table and blink myself back into consciousness, I immediately began forming my well-rehearsed rebuttal to spew in his direction.

Let’s do this!

I locked my eyes on him. I was ready, was he? He better be, considering I had heard this shitty statement so many times that my list of hilarious-ladies-you-can’t-deny had grown longer and was well practiced. But before I could begin my argument which usually started with, “For the love of Christ, what about Carol Burnett?”, I stopped myself.

What did you say?

Why? Because I was exhausted. Attempting to turn a Doubting Thomas into a believer one person at a time is hard work. Nope, this time I would just agree with him. Aggressively agree with him.

You’re exactly right! I said.

Silly women, thinking they’re so funny! I agreed.

Screw those mediocre, mammary gland sporting lady jokesters. Posers! I proclaimed.

Since I assumed his funny bone had been fractured at a young age in some terrible accident, I felt confident the sarcasm soaked comments might escape him. And they did. And I felt better. And I giggled a little on the inside. But only a little, because chicks aren’t that funny!

7 out of 10 Doctors state that an increase in testosterone positively impacts a female’s humor glands. Source: American Journal Of Shit That’s Not True.

So to commemorate this oh so factual statement that us ladies are lacking in the humor department, this will be the first in a regular series on my blog entitled: You’re right fellas – women aren’t funny. For each entry, I’ll submit some support for this argument, by offering up a lady or ladies that possess the audacity to consider themselves funny, as proof that you dudes are right!

And since I’m new to blogging and therefore blogging is on my mind pretty much constantly, Exhibit A will center around some of the most anti-hilarious, skirt-wearing, beholders of boobies in the post publishing world.

I submit to you as evidence:

1. Allie Brosh of Hyperbole and a Half. This Brosh bitch isn’t funny at all. Don’t read anything she’s written. Least of all this.

2. Jenny Lawson, The Bloggess. I’ve read all her stuff. Couldn’t crack a smile. See? Cholera is no laughing matter!

3. Abby Heugel of Abby Has Issues. She’s so funny I forgot to laugh. Plus, she’s glamorous, which is annoying.

See what I mean? Not funny at all! [eyeroll, eyeroll, eyeroll] And definitely don’t let their flashy book deals and sizable fan-bases fool you. Those gals obviously have no game.

Have any other female bloggers you’d like to toss under the funny bus? Please feel free to out similar impostors below. Promise not to laugh.

 

 

 

PS: If my sarcasm somehow managed to fly overtop your noggin as well, then you my friend, may be more dimwitted than I. Those women are hilarious.